Well, I guess it’s everyone’s New Year but whatever.
So as you could probably tell, I’ve been in a little dark place these past couple of weeks. I’ve been focusing on what others have that I don’t have. Romantic relationships, security, a career, big comic book collection…and the such. Anyway, I’ve done that so much lately that it’s been hard for me to really stand back and appreciate what I do have. I could tell things were looking grim for me when I started to really get back into soap operas. Say what you want but daytime television is a helluva a drug. So yesterday, my day off, I was switching from The Talk (which is a completely pointless show) to General Hospital when it hit me; I’m on a slippery slope. The grammar nerd fear is wondering if that semi-colon was correctly placed. Anyway, I probably should have come to the conclusion when I was wikipeding (it’s a verb) updates on Young and the Restless.
And now I’m back. The first sign of turn around for me was when I resisted the temptation of Wendy’s last night. After a restless sleep and venting my fears aloud, I feel better. I’m still paranoid and the dark places in my mind haven’t completely gone but I feel like I can handle it now.
Meanwhile, no one ever tells you how hard and almost horrible job searching can be. I think this had a lot to do with what I was going through. Day after day, I would write a new cover letter, tweak my resume, feel great about my MSW and then hear nothing. I think that’s the worse. No, it is the worse. I would much rather get a rejection letter than hear nothing. I know for some companies it’s impossible to get back to every single candidate, that’s life. And so, I’ve decided to pick myself back up, keep searching and keep writing cover letters that remind myself that if nothing else, I’m qualified. This is a hard attitude to keep up so I guess that’s just more work.
Okay this post was a ramble but I’m going to publish it anyway. I need to get back to looking up sexual heath/HIV related stuff. So that’ll probably be the next post.