Melissa does Open Mic

So part of my goals was to get into open mic more. Longer term goals include participating in a slam and one day being a feature. I have to keep telling myself that I have the talent to do this. Confidence, Melissa, confidence. I took a positive step towards these goals by getting back into open mic tonight at They Say. It was the best time I’ve had in a while despite some small hiccups. I had two poems I was going to do tonight. I’ve decided to post the one I didn’t do because the one I did was not really public entry safe. If that makes sense….which it does.

I am a huge fan of hurt/emo /bitter poems for a number of reasons. I tell myself that I won’t write them unless I can do the whole genre justice and so far I’ve written three of which I’m proud. This is one of them.

i’m addicted to what your machete did to my heart
lead me  in search of sharp objects and
emotional suicide missions
waiting for the final strike
I am imagine you laughing at the spilled blood
over the phone
how could she have invested so much?
but i do it on purpose
i break my heart better than you
don’t even remember your name anymore
just the vague pang of lonileness when you touched me
the distance of our hands that never met
your indifference spurned me on
i went from fan to groupie
from girlfriend to ex
from sane to sobbing
you get my drift
you get my nothing

This poem is the only poem that isn’t specifically about one person which was weird for me. Usually when I do emo poems, I draw from one experience and go with it. This time I wanted to do something personal without it being weird details of my love life. I also wanted to do a poem that wouldn’t make me relive a break up or fight every time. I think that is why I can love this poem without any strong ties.  It’s also a combination of lines that I had been floating around for MONTHS trying to fit in other poems.

I’m not going to post poems here on the regular but I figured there was no point in doing a blog that represents me without posting at least one poem. Yay me.

Melissa does Open Mic

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