Melissa Turns 25 soon so she did a longer post

On Wednesday November 11, 2009, I will be turning 25 years old. I feel a chill just typing that down. This year, the year of 2009, has forced me to grow up in ways I could never imagine (and I can imagine quite a bit).

So let’s go down the list and take inventory.

Family: I became an aunt this year for the second time. I have never loved a baby so much as I love my niece and it’s forced me to look at how neglectful I’ve been of my nephew. I think he’s going to be 12. I remember when I first met him and I thought he would never grow to love us. My brother has been with his mother for almost nine years and my nephew was guarded around us for at least a year. Now, he calls me his auntie and though it makes me feel old…it also makes me feel loved. He will soon be going through that teenage stage and I will have to remind myself that I love him and if I hit him, his mother will kill me. Teenagers are annoying. Love him.

Family Part2: Despite the addition to the family, I have grown apart from them. In the year 2010 and the remainder of this year, I will have to learn to allow myself to get closer to them as me. I can no longer pretend to be something I’m not to fit in but I can’t blame them or resent them because I’m different. Stop speaking in code. This year, my family suddenly got all religious and I am not. They have this church bond that I don’t share and I don’t long to share it. I just want to be apart of them again but as me. We shall see how this goes.

Professional life: I have three jobs. I am an intern at an organization that allows me to see what I want to do with my life. I am a student assistant which allows me time to do work and write this blog as well as brush up on my office skills and I work the weekends as a cashier. I have been a cashier for over five years. I get up, I put the smock on and I try to smile. Each day that smile gets harder to find. I’m not respected there and if someone from my job find this blog…HI! I don’t care. I’m not respected. When you get robbed and then get judged for getting robbed then your job hates you and you should leave. I can’t afford to leave at the moment but after getting passed up more than once for a position I deserved…I can’t stay another five year.

Relationship Status: Single. I am done being bitter about it. Yes, I fear dying alone surrounded by cats but not enough to go hunting around for random guys. I don’t expect to find a relationship while I’m living in the city so there is that. Motto: It is what it is until it isn’t.

School: As mentioned in previous entry, I graduated from the Undergrad School of Social Work at Wayne State University. I am enrolled in the Graduate School of Social Work. This year I am becoming a more devoted student than the previous years. I spent the summer in classes so there has been no “break.” I don’t expect a “break” until 2011/2012 when I walk across the stage for the last time.

Plans: I have always planned to move out of the city. This year, those plans are getting real. So far, I’ve decided on D.C. which would be a great area to practice social work in the HIV community. We shall see. I will miss my family and I will miss my city but when it’s time to go…it’s time to go.

Health: This year I have been dealing with the fall out from having hyperthyroidism. It has affected my moods, my energy and my weight. I lost a lot of weight. After I went to the doctor to get fixed, I gained a lot of it back and then some. This has had a negative effect on my self-image as seen in another entry. This year, I was horrible about taking my medication. I am required to take a pill every morning before eating. I don’t do this. I am just starting to change that and can feel myself getting less crappy. I can’t tell clients the importance of medication if I refuse to do so, properly.

And so that has been my life coming up to the age 25. I won’t say this year was fantastic because it was not. I have made new friendships which was a highlight and I have grown more comfortable with myself. However, I have also experienced some major set backs personally and I am still striving to get over that. I will do better with 25 than I did with 24. I don’t really have a choice in the matter. To do worse would mean failure that I can’t comprehend and to stay stagnant isn’t an option. Life is forcing me to move on and as much as I want to fight it, I simply cannot.

Thanks for listening and good day.

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Melissa Turns 25 soon so she did a longer post

2 thoughts on “Melissa Turns 25 soon so she did a longer post

  1. Danielle says:

    Turning 25 is not that bad. I’m 2 years past and yea . . . Just remember a few things that someone like me is missing out on: You can leave the house whenever you want and the only thing you have to take is your self and a purse if you carry one (take me with you!). You can eat your food while it’s hot and you do not have to continuously stop eating to take care of what others need (I miss hot food, I have forgotten what it taste like!) You don’t have a crazy mother in law you feel like strangling every time you visit. And lastly, you can go to the bathroom without constant interruptions (even when I’m the only one up I get interrupted-the cat). I will leave you with these brief luxuries that I miss. Happy birthday, you know you’re getting more fine as you age 😉

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