Melissa the fat girl: A life in big girl stores

We all know that one person who gained a little weight and calls him or herself fat when they aren’t really fat. They say things like “I’m soo fat” and then there is a pause. In that pause you are supposed to say “No, you look good. I mean, I’m bigger than you.” You always say the last sentence because you will always be bigger than that person. That person targeted you. It is now my mission to encourage these people to go ahead and lose weight.

Person: “I am so fat. I shouldn’t have ate all of that. I’m at a size 10 now.”

Me: “Really? I thought you were are 12.” *eats popcorn*

That felt like a good introduction to this post. First, as annoying as it is to hear the person complain about being fat, it is annoying to be dismissed as “not that fat.” I have always had weight issues. Always. At two I looked like I was going into the first grade. At the age 12..let’s just say I’m surprised I made it through middle school without a high school boyfriend though I probably looked too old for them. The point is, fat is sensitive subject. It has taken me years to get comfortable enough with myself to even say the word ‘fat’. Years. So when a person says ‘you’re not that fat’ I almost feel the need to prove to them, yea..I am.

I have recently gain a crap load of weight so fat has been on my mind a lot more and thus…a project. I am going to try to lose weight BUT not be annoying about it. I’ve been the annoying fat person. “Can’t eat that, on a diet.” “Girl, I can eat this but I can’t eat no more today.” “Well, I mean, I’m going to walk extra so this doesn’t count.” I have been that guy. I would like to apologize to my friends for being this person. It’s very annoying to have a friend only talk about weight loss. VERY.

So this is Project No. 3. I will update on it from time to time. At some point I will feel comfortable enough to say my weight (once you get over 200 lbs it’s hard to say it out aloud). This will be a slow a process. Before I got into it I had to make a list. I always make a list because I need to know that I’m doing what I’m doing for the right reasons.

The wrong reasons:

1. For a guy. This one is the hardest to fight because it’s the easiest. There is nothing like feeling you aren’t hot enough for someone. And of course hot equals skinny because no man is going to want you if you are big as a house. *breathe* Never lose weight for a guy. If I have missed out on anyone because of the size of me then chances are, I didn’t want that person anyway.

2. Family pressure. I am the biggest person in my family. If I live my life for them then I’m screwed. I will always be the biggest person in my family. My grandmother will always ask if I’m on diet. Acceptance.

3. I need to fit my old clothes. This reason is stupid. Listen, buy new clothes…dweeb. And stop throwing out your “fat clothes”. I have two pairs of jeans I can wear and I busted the other ones. Yes, I plan to get back down to a certain size but if I dress in a sack while attempting to do so then I’ll look like crap. Looking like crap will make me feel bad. Feeling bad makes me want beer and fried chicken…you know where I’m going.

4. Because I hate myself. I have to work on this one daily and not just weight wise so we’ll move on.

I have assured myself that those are not my reasons for losing weight.

So onward me. The working plan:

The next Project No.3 post will be a plan.

Melissa the fat girl: A life in big girl stores

2 thoughts on “Melissa the fat girl: A life in big girl stores

  1. i like this post. it seems that “fat”, just like “beauty” is in the eye of the beholder. i am glad you losing weight for the right reason (because it’s what you want to do)!

    i definitely been the “you’re not fat, i’m bigger than you” girl for a lot of people…and so consequently that used to make me feel bad about myself. but “fat” really is in the eye of the beholder and now i’m just like you say…if i have a skinny friend who thinks she’s fat cuz she is 10 lbs bigger i encourage her to drop some pounds.

    purely for the purposes of vanity i sometimes wish i was the size i was back in 2001 but i remember how much i HATED myself and thought i was sooooo fat…i feel a lot better about myself now than i ever have…i know lots of ppl probably think i’m fat but i feel like i’m so fly. (buying clothes the right size and not hating myself and being with guys who thought i was attractive instead of guys who never complimented my appearance helped with this–family pressure i ignore b/c most of them are fat too!)

    my bigger focus is on being healthier or motivation to stay on schedule with the gym…if you have any thing you wanna share i am listening

  2. You’re my shero. *bows*

    Seriously, I still use that “I’m bigger than you..” The last time I was thin, I think I was 5.

    I commend you on setting a goal and sticking to it. Now if only I could force myself to do the same.

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